Welcome to FridayLight

Hello,
My parents are immigrants, as most of us are. Tate was born in Russia, Mom was born in Germany. I am at the proud age of 59 the first generation in America on both sides.

Growing up I was raised Orthodox, yes we lit candles and though the home was not kosher, we did follow most of the Orthodox laws. Tate passed away when I was 9, by the time I was 10 Jewry had come to a halt in my family. My mother entered the vicious world of depression, alcoholism and abuse of prescription medications. Gone nothing to bring back to the Jewish life.

I wandered around for some 48 1/2 years searching for many things. About 6-7 months ago I strongly felt the need to honor my father and mother. The only way that I thought I could do this was to rediscover my Jewish roots.

Slowly I learned a little of this and a little of that. Suddenly I was lighting Shabbos candles, I could not recall fully how to do this, but it was at least an attempt.

I am learning so much now, I have bought my first ever Tanach, transliterated Stone Edition, my first Bencher, and now today in the mail came my first ArtScroll Transliterated Siddur.

I look forward to Friday now not simply because it is the weekend. I was never the party girl, but liked to slow down. Now Friday nights are filled with love and light. I am sure that I mispronounce many of the transliterated Hebrew, that is fine with practice I will improve.

What a simcha this new journey has begun.

My husband is not Jewish but very respectful of my desire to learn more and more of my background. He stands with me as I light the candles, he does not talk while I say the prayer over the wine, nor when I say the prayer over the challah. He shares the Sabbath with me so now Friday night Shabbos has become joy and learning experience for the both of us.

Thank you feel free to share your stories with me, as well as offer tons of advice.

Paula Bonnie

When I am lighting Shabbat candles after a really hectic week, I try to remember people who need blessings for children, health, Parnassah, or any other help, and include them in my davening. Also, there is a beautiful book of prayers which I like to use when I am lighting, and it is called T’chinos. Lighting Shabbat candles makes me feel that I, personally, am bringing more peace and light into the world.

My story might be a bit different than most. I was born (out of wedlock) to a Russian/Polish Jewish woman and an African-American man in the early 1950’s. I was given away at birth beause she planned to return to her Orthodox Jewish family and could not bring a “black” child with her. (Or so she felt). She never did go back but stayed and married the man. I, however, remained with another biracial couple who raised me.

My adopted mother was also white- but not Jewish. I was baptised and confirmed as a Lutheran. It would be some years before I realized what being Jewish meant.

I now embrace my Jewishness wholeheartedly although I have never yet been in a synagogue. The candlelighting has become a very special ceremony for me, however.

I was exposed to it almost by happenstance. I met an obvious Jewish Hassidic(?) man in dark clothing and wearing a beard in a supermarket parking lot. We struck up a conversation and when he discovered my mother was Jewish he informed me that I was a Jew- without doubt.

Going into the trunk of his car, he gave me some literature about lighting the candle(s) and why I should be doing it.

This whole experience has made me feel part of something special everytime I light my candle, even if that is all I know to do at this point.

Thank you for having such a wonderful website!
Shalom,
Linda in Detroit

One of the greatest blessings in my life has been the practice of lighting the Shabbat lights. It started about 5 years ago, when after praying to HaShem for a deeper life and understanding of Himself, He lead me into Torah (I am not Jewish by birth)! Regardless of how busy the week has been, I always try to prepare a special dinner and get the table ready for the Shabbat. There is something so deep and intimate knowing that I light my candles in my home and say the ancient prayers, the same is being done by my sisters in HaShem worldwide. The double portion of blessing comes from hearing the prayers and blessings from my husband spoken over the Challah and wine. What a beautiful and peaceful way to enter into the Shabbat! Blessed is HaShem who draws ALL people to Himself in loving kindness.

Photo of soldier in Iraq lighting FridayLight candles.

My story is very simple. Very recently, I felt a need to start lighting candles on Shabbos. I searched on line and found the prayer that I remembered my Bubbe saying. I found Shabbos candles in a nearby grocery store and now am in search of candles holders (believe it or not, I don’t have a one in the house).

I can’t wait until I light my first candles and I can imagine how I will feel the tie to other Jewish women world-wide who are also lighting candles that evening.

Lesley

I was telling a friend about lighting the Shabbat candles and she asked me how long you keep the candles lit.  I couldn’t answer her!  If you are going to services, of course, you put the candles out when you leave your home, but, what if you are staying home?  How long do you keep the Shabbat candles lit?

I had an interesting experience last weekend at Lake San Antonio in Monterey County, California. I was going camping with four families, only one which I knew, but nonetheless, I brought my FridayLight starter kit with me, so I could light Shabbat candles lakeside. I had no idea if the other families lit candles or, were even Jewish. So, you can imagine how pleasantly surprised I was to find that they had brought Challah, Kosher wine and enough candles for all the women and girls to light! We then shared a lovely Shabbat dinner under the stars, with a Latino family reunion to one side of us, and a Russian family campout to the other.

Has anyone wondered how it must feel to light the Shabbat candles from different places in the world? Does G-d feel as close from Brazil, France or Morocco? How about South Africa or Israel?

I find it fascinating to realize that no matter where we are in the world, there are people like us, who share the same beliefs and have the same faith. We may look different and have different traditions, we all share the same history and belong to the same people. Our history of Diaspora makes it even more important that we feel close to one another. We must take interest in our respective cultures, this is the only way we can understand each other.

As you’re reading this, ask yourself if you’ve ever lit the Shabbat candles either in a different country, or following traditions that seemed unusual to you. Then take a moment and type it up. We’ll all benefit from it. Thank you and have a great 4th of July!

The sacred spirit of Shabbat is often referred to as the “Shabbat Queen.” The Shabbat Queen is symbolic of the feminine aspect of the Divine, the “Shechina”, G-d ’s dwelling presence.

As a Jewish woman welcomes the Shabbat on Friday night, she creates a sacred space within her home for the Infinite Light of G-d, and the Shabbat Queen enters.

As you ignite your Shabbat flame tonight, focus on the sacred space you are creating in your home, and try to make sure there’s a matching place inside your heart. When the Shabbat Queen arrives- you want to leave all doors open! Enjoy the visit.

After igniting your Shabbat flame tonight and before reciting the blessing, fulfill the age old custom of ushering in the light of Shabbat by waving your hands three times around the flames.  And then, after this painful week in which we have witnessed the atrocities that human hands can accomplish, focus on the holiness that hands can also bring into our world.
 

Hands can transform an abstract light into a physical act of kindness. Hands can express love, and reach out to a soul in need. Hands can usher in the light of Shabbat. As you do so tonight, concentrate on the many forms of light your hands will bring into this world in your lifetime.
 

Shabbat Shalom.

As you ignite your Shabbat flame tonight, think about this:

No matter how many times before, you have experienced light, in order to kindle this particular flame, you needed to acquire new material; wax, or oil, and a wick. You need to once again kindle the flame through a source of light. So it is with love, with joy, with anything Divine about life – you need to keep on working, keep on putting forth new effort - to keep the flame burning.

Shabbat Shalom!

I lit my first Shabbat candle at the age of 26, i.e. 2 months ago. It was the 6th anniversary of my grandmother’s death and I wanted that night to feel special. Someone suggested that I light a Shabbat candle, for myself, my beloved and in my grandmother’s memory. I liked the idea, as I thought that it was an easy gesture, which carried significant meaning.

I am (French) Jewish but I have a very secular life. I’m always interested in Jewish practices but I don’t necessarily apply them to my lifestyle. When I lit the candle and recited the blessing, I found myself spiritually connected to my beloved and in relation to G-d. It was a profound moment of inner serenity. I never thought it could feel this way. Also, especially since I live far away from my family and friends, I feel the need to express my belonging to the Jewish community. And when I think of all the Jewish women lighting the Shabbat candles all over the world, it warms up my heart.

Now each week I look forward to seeing the shining Shabbat flame. I have registered on www.fridaylight.org and I get the candle lighting time each week by email. My mum also registered from France. I think that this website is amazing and I encourage all Jewish women to visit it more often!

Our Sages taught: “The flame of G-d is the human soul.”

What is the mystical connection between a flame and a soul?

The answer lies within the natural attributes of the flame.

A flame is always reaching higher, to the source of all fire - a substance that surrounds this earth. Were the flame to accomplish its goal; namely, to leave its wick to cleave to its source… it would lose its very identity as a flame. It would no longer exist as a separate being.

The soul’s yearning is akin to this yearning of the flame. The soul desires to cleave to her Source in the Divine, shed her body and material existance- and be one with The Holy One, blessed be He.

However, Kabbalah teaches that the Divine will is that we channel this yearning to affect the way we live our lives on this physical plane - and create this Oneness within the most materialistic parts of our daily lives.

Shabbat is often referred to in the holy texts as “Shabbat Kodesh,” “The Holy Shabbat.” As you kindle your flame tonight, focus on what it means to be holy. The Hebrew word Kodesh – holy - also means separate.  The Sages teach us that this word offers guidance to the very root of spiritual growth. In order to be holy, to unite with the Infinite Light, one must first separate oneself from the mundane, the coarse, the earthly part of one’s being. Tonight, as you meditate on bringing new holiness and light into your life - think about taking out the trash first.

Not being Jewish but being led by G_d into a more Jewish understanding of the Scriptures and desiring to understand then more with a Jewish mindset, I somehow found this website and am being richly blessed. I am 55 years old and have walked with HaShem faithfully for over 20 years now but I am longing to know my Hebraic roots as a Christian, more and more. So I have prayed about what G_d would have me to do concerning FridayLight and yesterday my husband inquired about it. I explained what I knew about it and about the Havdalah for “closing out” the Sabbath and he seems willing to give it a try. So I will, with great anticipation, take part this Friday. To all FridayLighters-be blessed in Him who blesses richly and abundantly.

The Zohar teaches that on Shabbat, all the spiritual and physical worlds return to their source in the Divine Oneness. As you ignite your Shabbat flame tonight, envision yourself joining all of creation on a journey of return…  Returning to your essence, to the very core of your being. Returning to the light that is your own - that is awaiting your discovery. Returning to where you belong.

Don’t worry - you won’t have to leave this place within after prayer: you can take it to go - it’s yours for keeps!

I am making a beginning with lighting candles on Friday at sunset. My ultimate aim is to include my family with short story to dialogue about like a family parsha naso . . . .
I am interested in what nourishing food to prepare for dinner as a regular Friday event.
We are not Jewish. We are however, lacking connective moments where we can recognize what is of value in this lifetime.
I welcome input and ideas on doing this thing . . . .
Anna

The flame is like me and you: spiritual beings trapped in a material world.